It’s been a long year! I just realized I hadn’t written in that long 🙈 I guess life has just throwed way to much this past year. But I guess I am just gonna make it short today.
My mother-in-law is doing so good right now she went thru some really rough patches but she has pulled thru so far. She’s walking again with out a walker (not real good but she is 😉) & her numbers are looking really good at the moment. So that makes me so happy 😀 I mean so well at the moment they are selling there house & moving to the lake house they have had for years now. It’s nice a big 3 bed 2 bath home on the Toledo Bend lake. They have a beautiful yard that rolls right into the lake just love it. She said there is so calming so that makes my heart happy but problem is there isn’t a hospital for an hour an half away which is here. That really scares me but I want her to be happy. They say the cancer she has will kill her just might get better (like now) then just come back with a vengeance. We asked if it goes into remission they said no just good then back. So I just want her to live what time she has left happy as ever!
As far as my health issues they are still here…newest part of one is so crazy cause I always loved going into parking garages (crazy huh) well now not at all. I guess with Tourette’s I totally freak out. My b/p skyrockets & pulse does as well. Started a couple months ago. I still only drive when totally have to such as: docs, get kiddos from school, groceries (which that’s totally awesome now cause our walmart has the pick up now, you order & pay online an they load in your vehicle 😳 it’s better than sliced bread!!!) & my mils. An one of my docs offices I can park in the circle in the front but when full, yup I gotta park in the garage. The first time a couple months ago I got to the office & they took b/p it was so high that he had to give me something a couple times & I had to stay in his office for over 4 hours till it went down (wanted me to go across the street to hospital but I so didn’t want to) the next time last month it went down after 30 minutes. So freaking crazy. But now they have diagnosed me with Rheumatoid arthritis & osteoarthritis. So I just learned to deal with it. About a month ago a guy on one of the Facebook pages for Tourette’s I am on private messaged me & told me that “God chose me to have this” omg when I read that it I sooooo heard my Mothers voice saying these words. It touched me in so many ways from that moment on I have been happy inside & out. For the first time in years. I really have tried to think the last time I was just happy & I can’t. I think I finally accepted my illnesses & that makes things easier!!! (No one take that the wrong way please!!! I know God doesn’t make me sick I feel He chose me to have so that I can be an advocate for Tourette’s & maybe one day be able to help someone just diagnosed or has been having it. Could be family, friends or hey even someone on here!!!😊). That being said…I only have 4 siblings left my little brother passed away 😢 a couple years ago. But anyway 2 of my sister still are close to an extent, but for the other 2 they think I am mental 1 said “I was a retard” her words not mine. She also said I needed other opinions, I have had 3 so far by docs in 3 different cities. But the other says I’m over medicated cause they had to put me on Adderall because the severity of ocd, add & adhd. It has helped a thousand times over. Neither has seen me in over 5 months, actually it was Christmas time. Well over the last few years I have reconnected with an old friend from grade school, yup 40 years ago 😳 geez I’m old!!! Anyway she called one time a couple months ago & asked me what docs say my speech is caused from (it’s like that of a stroke patients) I proceed to tell her. Well she asked me if I minded if she spoke with 2 of her best friends about me I said I guess why? she said that one was a neurologist she used to work for, (my friend is a nurse practitioner) she said she & he has partnered up with a medical doctor to study patients with brain disorders/diseases what it is that causes such as azltimers, dimentia, Tourette’s, Dystonia etc…I was like hell yeah.
So fast forward a month she is in Dallas, (which sister told me to go to for another opinion) an she asked if I would sign a release for both docs to be able to get all of my medical records so I did. Well a month went by & hubbs was on vacation so we went fishing for the first time in almost a year. We were out there (most relaxing thing ever for someone in my shakey, ticcey shape) she texted said they have both have given their opinions, she as well that I have been properly diagnosed & on proper meds!!!!! I got soooo excited I might just get my family (sibs) back. I couldn’t wait to get home to text everyone everything I had learned. Well I put the words “God chose me for this” & that I was totally happy now. That all totally exploded on me 😡 the sister that said to get opinions totally lost it on me about my new phrase said God doesn’t make you sick blah blah blah an never would hear me out. The other said I was over medicated & that these docs have never seen me to know the difference. Both said I need to quit giving up on life that these disease don’t kill you & referenced Cancer patients die not me. That hit the wrong cord with me I lost it on her regarding my mil. I told her I am living with someone that has cancer & I would NEVER think I was as bad as she is, that I go thru anything she has to face on a daily basis. Well she says I am just an angry person blah blah blah. Well it tore me in two that night after being so happy that morning. I don’t mind losing my sisters (yes it hurts but I can handle that) but it’s the great nieces & nephews that go along with them. Now that makes me sad but I have to learn to live with it.
Other than all that we now have 7 fish aquariums that I have to take care of on a daily basis 🤦🏻♀️ so that gets me moving everyday knowing what I have to do & I’m also hatching & growing out baby brine shrimp to feed all of them. I have one that had 103 baby angel fish that was doing great them 2 1/2 months old I lost all but 17 they are all doing great now it’s been a month so hopefully they will do good. They are why I started doing brine shrimp for, cause that is what you feed them! Who knew lol. But I love it cause gives me a little purpose in life. So now at 3:15 am I take my meds & wait for about 15 mins then get out of bed (cause I can’t walk down hall with out them first) then I make hubbs lunch get him off to work & start my day at 4 then have supper ready for him at 5pm, eat clean up that finish fish then rest from 7:30-8 in recliner then go to bed at 8 to start all over next day. Some days are harder to push thru but I do it. If I have really bad tics & vocal tics, which I was blessed with the “F” word which I have hated that word my whole life😡🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️, I just say “thanx Mom” then just kackle to myself. Cause the last time I went to walmart it happened & someone asked me why I just did that? I said oh they didn’t have such & such then they looked at me like I was crazy 😜 I said I apologize if I offended you I have Tourette’s & it is called vocal tics I said when you get home google Tourette’s & next time this happens or you see someone ticcing then you will understand & maybe be able to help them or someone else. They were really nice & wrote down the website & I haven’t gone into a store since.
Well I guess I was wrong wasn’t short sorry just all started coming out…but till next time have a Blessed day & love the ones your close to today!!
Till later ~me~