The dreaded holiday is past…

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I made it through the Easter holiday.  I really dreaded this holiday, it was the first one without Mom!!!  I did it tho, I was with family all day Saturday for some amazing family time & crawfish (that sure helped) but I ended up on the way home telling my Husband the truth that, the only way I have made it lately is to have a few shots of fireball through out the days that I am not at home, every time I leave the house I get so panicked, so scared inside & out, my shakes/tics/mouth chewing, they all seem to be uncontrollable, my speech gets so much worse.  I have never been a drinker, maybe once or twice a year I would go to dinner or party and enjoy a few but never much by any means.  That scares me pretty bad.  I mean I don’t get sloppy drunk just enough to calm me down some to an extent.  My family is all going through a rough time right now with Mom gone, also I forgot to post early while telling my life that my 3rd to oldest sister lost her husband one week prior to us losing Mom.  He was a really good guy!  They lived with my Mom at her house so having to sale our family home meant my sister, whom had just lost her husband and our Mom had to start life over again in a whole new way than I or any of my other siblings.  I try to always remember that when I start to feel sorry for myself!

Well have to run cause one of my nieces needed a sitter for the day for 2 of my great nephews.

Will write more tomorrow, Have a good one! Me

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